“Cremains” Disposal Franchise  America’s leading balloon-based aerial “cremains” disposal franchise!

Goose Chasing Franchise  Turn your hatred of waterfowl into an exciting business opportunity!

Pirahna Pedicures  Finally!  A flesh-eating fish franchise YOU can afford!

1-800-AUTOPSY Franchise  A mobile franchise that’s a cut above the rest.

Gum Removal Franchise  Build your future in the exciting field of chewing gum removal!

Mobile Pet Cremation  Provide the ultimate Spot remover.

Pooper Scooper Franchise  Mine the brown gold!

Bounty Hunter Franchise  It’s Success or Bust! with this bounty hunting franchise.

Murder Maids  Criminals aren’t the only ones making a killing.

Grass Painting Franchise  The grass is always greener when it’s freshly painted.

Porno Pizza  3 deadly sins (sloth, gluttony, lust)…  1 exciting franchise!

Pet Funeral Home  Are there big, tear-stained checks in your future?

KNOW OF ANY BIZARRE FRANCHISE OR BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES?  SHARE A COMMENT BELOW.

When I’m sitting on the veranda of my multimillion-dollar home with my family all close around me, I ask myself: What is success?

To me, success is not about my Mercedes, Jaguar or Porsche.

It’s not about my houses in Aruba or Tahiti or the furnished apartment for my mistress.

Success is not about jewels, and fine suits and boats at all.

No, success is about owning those things. And having enough money left over to buy more.

I’ve learned that the secret to success is your people. And I don’t just mean uncovering their most damaging secrets or their inner weaknesses and exploiting them for monetary gain. I also mean discovering their potential, however feeble or noxious, nurturing it and figuring out how to use that for monetary gain.

I’ve also learned to never underestimate people. I remember when Milton Deebler showed up at my door. My first reaction was to call security, which our maid Consuela had already done. Even after we had him arrested several times he kept coming back.

Deebler had a quality called persistence. My ex-wife said he wanted a franchise and that maybe we should give him a shot. I said, “You give him a shot, you old hag. You’re outta your freakin’ mind.”

But I looked again at Deebler and recognized that he had something very special that he carried with him wherever he went. It was a shoebox full of money. I told him to leave it on the steps, and I sent him on a quest to get another just like it. Then I sent him for another… and another.

His persistence paid off and he’s now a valuable FRANWORST franchisee. I don’t know where he gets it, I don’t want to know and that’s not the point.

The point is that now when I see Milton, I no longer have him arrested. I say, “Hello, Mr. Deebler. Is that a new cologne I detect on you? Please just leave the shoebox on the steps, back away slowly with your hands in plain sight and have a great day!”

The point is: If Milton Deebler could make it this far with the FRANWORST franchise program, just think what you could do!

Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.
President and CEO

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