COLD STONE PIZZA FRANCHISE

American consumers love pizza.  They love a bargain.  And they love to see people worse off than themselves.

Now, QuickCo Franchising has combined America’s passion for pizza, low prices and the misfortune of others into one exciting concept:  Cold Stone Pizza!

If you’re looking for a lucrative way to combine your love of money with your disregard for your fellow man, the Cold Stone Pizza franchise is the opportunity you’ve been looking for!

A flash of inspiration from Earth’s #1 millionaire-maker

What inspired this genius idea?  America’s beloved millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. says “I was reading the moronic website Franchise Pick.  There was a big uproar about some Pizza Time franchisee who makes his pizza shop employees work in sub-freezing temperatures without heat.  I thought:  What’s the big deal?  None of these altruists were offering to pay an extra buck a pizza to heat the pizza peons. I thought:  If these phonies thought they’d save 50 cents, they’d make’m work without lights, too.”

“Then the light bulb clicked on.  Eureka! Another Multimillion dollar idea! ”

A Proven Concept Tested & Refined for Days

Millionaire Quick, Esq. immediately assembled his top development team to create a lowest-cost, lowest-overhead pizza delivery franchise.  They eliminated the unnecessary frills of their bloated competitors, including heat, employee bonuses, incentives and fair pay, fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, toilet paper, latex gloves, hand sanitizer, and the use of motorized vehicles.  Profit sharing was replaced by expense sharing, with food and supply purchases charged to employee’s personal credit cards.

The Cold Stone Pizza HR team developed innovative ways to recruit low-cost, abuse-tolerant employees, including DUI recipients,  Megan’s Law honorees, illegal aliens, and former franchise brokers.

The first franchise, sold to Milton Deebler before the name was finalized, was an immediate hit.  Says Quick:  “We were amazed.  Usually the first 50 or so new franchises tank until we figure out what we’re doing, but this was actually successful.  Go figure.  After several days of trial and error, we sold our first 100 store Master Franchise.”

We abuse our employees & pass the savings on to you!

Doesn’t the public care about employee welfare?  Explains Quick:  “Sure they do.  Until they see our 2 Large Pizzas For $4.99 Special.  That’s delivered, with choice of two toppings.  The Chinese can’t offer pizzas at those prices.”

“I’m a motivator,” says motivator Richard Quick, Esq. “I teach our employees that there are two kinds of people in this world:  The abusers and the abused.  Work hard, and you’ll get your shot.  After working at Cold Stone Pizza, our employees become highly motivated to achieve more with their lives… like becoming Cold Stone Pizza franchise owners.  Or prison guards.”

Do you have what it takes to succeed with the Cold Stone Pizza franchise?

For more franchise information, email RichardQuickEsq.[at]yahoo.com.

[DISCLAIMER: This is a parody site. Cold Stone Pizza is fictional and in no way related to actual companies, including Cold Stone Creamery, or WWF wrestlers, including Stone Cold Steve Austin. For info on REAL franchise opportunities, visit FranBest.com, Franchise Pick, or Top New Franchises.]

Enviro-Ad Environmental Product Placement

Start your own environmental product placement advertising agency – with Enviro-Ad (formerly Mr. Litterbug)

EnviroAd campaigns are working around the country for some of America’s largest industries for America’s best-known brands.

EnviroAds are the next-generation of product placements, appearing right where consumers live, drive, walk and jog.

EnviroAd real-world product placements not only create unmatched reach and frequency, they provide peer validation and real-world popularity.

Here are a few images from current EnviroAd campaigns that you may recognize. After all, EnviroAds are all around you!

BEVERAGE EnviroAd Campaigns

FAST FOOD EnviroAd Campaigns

TOBACCO EnviroAd Campaigns

OTHER EnviroAd Campaigns

For more information on how EnviroAd can blanket your target markets with real-world product placements, contact Richard Quick, Esq..

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE A POSITIVE COMMENT OR ENDORSEMENT OF EnviroAd!

CLICK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ENVIRO-AD:

OVERVIEW: EnviroAd Environmental Advertising

IDEAL PRODUCT PLACEMENT: EnviroAd IPP

LUNAR ADVERTISING: The Sky’s No longer the limit… With EnviroAd Lun.E

CASE STUDY: EnviroAd Puts KFC on the MOON!

BUDGET BRIDES: Love 4 Less!

Welcome to Budget Brides: The mail order brides 4 less franchise!

Dating, Matchmaking, Singles, Foreign Brides. Wives. Meet eligible women from the Poland, USSR, Singapore, Zimbabwe, Alabama and other places even worse than where you live.

Would you love to have a young, beautiful foreign bride whose limited English and fear of being deported to her impoverished war-torn, 3rd world country makes her worship the ground you walk on? We bet you do! But let’s face it:  You’re Assistant to the Assistant Manager at Wizno’s Subs.  Your penthouse suite is Aunt Ida’s attic.  And that just ain’t gonna happen, now is it?

But untie that noose… because you can have the next-best thing!  Thanks to Budget Brides Love-for-Less you can find companionship with actual females with names like Tatiana, Natasha and Olga… just like the full-price foreign brides on the legitimate-looking websites.  And, yes, they take Mastercard.  Check out a few of this week’s bargains:

A Jezebel with Decibels: Oksana is ready – and priced – to move!
Oksana, whose name means one who laughs like blaating sheep, loves show tunes, big hats, feather boas, “Sweating to the Oldies” videos, collecting Precious Memories figurines, and 18 other practices deemed unacceptable by her government. Their loss (and willingness to pay all transportation costs and deportation-related expenses) can be your gain… especially if you’ve suffered hearing loss or are mildly delusional! Oksana is just the one to perk up your quiet, boring household with the sound of music, dance, and indescribable but endearing shrieklike sounds of her own creation. You’ll get more for your money, because Oksana never sleeps!

Harmless when medicated
Meet lovely Lily. She’s young. Beautiful. Spirited. And completely harmless when properly medicated.

You won’t need an alarm or attack dog with this lovely vixen in the house, as she is trained in three forms of martial arts and even served in her previous regime’s Secret Police! Despite a slight history of explosive and violent outbursts, Miss Lily is gentle as a purring tiger when she’s taken her meds. She loves children, is a skilled interrogater and extraordinary rendition specialist, and, in exchange for her cooperation,  has been officially cleared of all war crimes charges.

Opportunity seeker: We have looked into your future and have some important information for you. Click the button to the left, answer the easy (even for you) questions and receive your message from the future. Don’t sit there… get clicking!

Could you put a smile on this face?
Meet Tatyana, an excellent ukrainian cook with low self esteem and bad skin.

Tatayana’s agoraphobia and limited English make her a perfect companion for the stay-at-home bachelor, the bedridden single or the perp on house arrest with an electronic monitoring device on his ankle.

Says coy Tatyana about the prospect of finding her soulmate in America: “OK.”

She’s not that into men, and not that into the idea of marriage, but let’s face it: you’re in no position to be choosy. If she were hot with even a mildly pleasant demeanor, you’d never even have a shot at her, would you? Would you?

Budget Brides: Not your best choice…  your only choice.

For mail order brides, foreign wives, hot international singles, eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, dating advice, singles hook-ups, matchmaking worldwide, dating and trysts on a beer budget, Budget Brides is not only your best choice, it’s your only choice.

Not earning to your potential?  Become a Budget Brides franchise broker today!

Meal Assembly & Botox Kitchen Franchise

(FranWorst.com) Beloved Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. has announced the debut of the first Meal Assembly & Cosmetic Surgery Kitchen Franchise: Make & Fake Gourmet. Make & Fake Gourmet combines the consumer appeal of paying hundreds of dollars to prepare ones own meals, and the booming demand for such cosmetic enhancements as botox injections, face peels, microderm abrasions, and liposuction… all in a festive, upscale, and social setting.

More details were not available at press time, as Mr. Quick just thought of the idea and had other things to do.

Said millionaire-maker Quick: “I am proud to be able to offer this exciting franchise opportunity to qualified individuals. As you know, 99% of franchise owners are wildly successful compared to 99% of independent business owners who fail in the most public, humiliating ways possible. QuickCo is proud to offer another exciting opportunity that’s truly too good to be true.”

Related news:
Can Botox Parties Save the Meal Prep Franchises? (Part 1)
Can Botox Parties Save the Meal Prep Franchises? (Part 2)
Can Botox Parties Save the Meal Prep Franchises? (Part 3)

Aves Wisconsin’s Finest Taxidermy & Cheese Franchise

Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. is pleased to announce the addition of the Aves Wisconsin’s Finest Taxidermy & Cheese franchise to the revered FRANWORST 500.

“The Aves Wisconsin’s Finest Taxidermy & Cheese franchise is one of the most innovative and affordable lifestyle franchise opportunities available,” said Richard Quick, Esq. over a live feed from his yacht off the coast of St. Barts. “It is a fully self-contained, self-advertising modular business with its own living quarters. It’s a business, home and mode of transportation all in one. It doesn’t get any better than that.” With record setting franchise sales early this year, Aves Wisconsin’s Finest Taxidermy & Cheese became the second largest taxidermy & cheese franchise on the list.

[Source: ThisisBroken.com]

Richard Quick’s GRATE FUN! Adventure Park

(Franworst)

America’s beloved Millionaire entrepreneur Richard Quick, Esq. is pleased to announce that he has finalized negotiations with the People’s Republic of China to become the exclusive U.S. representative and Master Franchise holder of the GRATE FUN! Child Adventure Systems. Read more

SHIT CREEK PADDLE STORE FRANCHISES AVAILABLE!

Shit Creek Paddle Store Franchises now available!

You’ve been there before.

Heck, maybe you’re there now!

And with your firsthand experience with misfortune, you know that when you’re up Shit Creek without a paddle, you’ll pay whatever it takes.

Well now you can be on the winning side of things for once… as the owner of your very own Shit Creek Paddle Store franchise!

Not sure if a franchise is right for your future?

Don’t take a chance. Ask the Sexy Psychic if the Shit Creek Paddle Store franchise is right for you.

That’s right, get a free psychic reading from the voluptuous Ms. Sara Freder. She knows you want to.

The Sexy Psychic:

Disclaimer: This is not an offer of a Shit Creek Paddle Store franchise. An offer of a Shit Creek Paddle Store franchise is available by prospectus only. We cannot guarantee results or happiness. We cannot guarantee that even your oldest friends will not resent you once you are unimaginably wealthy from this or other Franworst brand franchise opportunities. Get rich at your own risk.

Darn Good Sock Repair. Darn Good Franchise Opportunity!

People ask me:  “Richard Quick, Esq., you’re a millionaire and I’m not.  So when you say I should buy one of the worst franchises – not one of the best franchises – I’m sure you’re right.  But I’m too stupid to understand.  Though I’m not worthy, could you please explain it to me again?”

I tell them it’s ok to be stupid, as long as you’re willing to follow the steps to financial growth exactly as I lay them out, and you provide me full access to your financial records, credit card numbers and passwords. 

You see, anyone can spot a great franchise opportunity… So those offering it squeeze all the opportunity out of it.  Buy a proven, successful franchise like McDonald’s or Subway and, next thing you know, you’re paying them 15% of your gross sales EVERY WEEK.  But, if you buy one of my completely unknown franchises with a thoroughly unproven concept and no track record, you’ll only pay, say, 13% of your gross sales.  You can use that extra 2% to take your family on an African Safari, buy a fleet of sports cars, or even finance the revolution of a small African nation that will make you Emperor and worship you like a God.  And I’ll even let you put your downpayment on any major credit card.  Ask the McDonald’s franchise people if they’ll do that!

Take, for instance, one of the worst – and therefore best – franchise opportunities to come along in years:  Darn Good Sock Repair.  There’s no national player in the sock repair industry, currently.  And most people will tell you it’s a stupid idea.  But think about the potential:  Darn Good Sock Repair’s Harvey Lieberman points out that the US population is now a jillion people.  Most have two feet, so that’s 2 Jillion.  If only a quadrillion of them pay you $20 per pair of socks, and average 10 pairs per year, you would probably only make 3-5 million dollars the first year, but most likely 10-12 million in subsequent years.

But don’t take Harvey Lieberman’s word for it.  Just ask Mike from Lawrence, Massachusetts.  Mike is the first Darn Good Sock franchisee and is currently in a situation he never dreamed he’d EVER be in.  For the first time in his adult life, he has no rent or house payment to worry about, and he can repair all his own socks for free (though, being a parapelegic, his socks last quite long.)

Read Mike’s Testimonial about how Darn Good Sock Repair changed his life!

 See you on the veranda!  RQ

Praise for Darn Good Sock Repair from Franchisee Mike:

“Mr. Lieberman was very polite, informative and knowledgeable. He explained to me that the sock repair market was wide open, that were no other sock repair franchises or sock repair businesses anywhere. He told me that many people focused on the shoe repair market, and overlooked the sock repair potential. He told me that his market research indicated that the average consumer would pay betwee $20-$25 to repair a hole in their sock. I was impressed with this. I asked him what I could expect to make per year, and he told me that he had to be honest, that I would probably only make 3-5 million dollars the first year, but most likely 10-12 million in subsequent years.”

Make Millions As A ScrapBook Consultant!

The moment you first visited this website, I could sense that you were born with the genetic seed of potential necessary to amass wealth beyond your wildest dreams. Not everyone was born with such a gift. You have it. I have it. Joe Malarkey, it pains me to say, does not have it.

I am an honest man, and I must state unequivocably that the Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. GET RICH QUICK program is not for everyone. Although my 27 cassette series has made tens of thousands of ordinary individuals into multimillionaires, there have been a handful of individuals who had the “Choose to Lose” mindset rather than the Millionaire Mindset. Millionaire Mindset Academy Flunkee Joe Malarkey is one such disappointment.

That being said, even a complete moron can stumble upon a brilliant idea now and again, and Joe Malarkey’s “My First Divorce Scrapbook” is one such brilliant, moneymaking idea. Watch this Malarkey-filled video, then immediately order my 14 Laserdisk series “How to Make Millions in Scrapbooking” and you’ll be on the road to riches! Order before midnight, and you’ll receive a free Laserdisk player as our special gift, absolutely free!

See you on the veranda!

Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.
Founder
Million Dollar Scrapbook & Rubber Stamp Club

Introduction to BELIEVE. Greatest Opportunity EVER!

Do you want to get rich beyond your wildest dreams? All you’ve got to do is learn about MLM, aka direct sales, aka multi-level marketing and… BELIEVE!

I am proud to share with you another success story from one of my many multimillionaire progidies: Mark Fuller, Founder of BELIEVE. No doubt by following the principles of my GET RICH QUICK! and Millionaire Mindset Cassette, VHS and book series, Mark Fuller has built BELIEVE into one of the most successful peer-to-peer interactive vertically aligned retail cooperatives in America!

BELIEVE is changing lives so powerfully that it’s even the subject of an upcoming movie. BELIEVE is an honest, straightforward program and hence the movie has an honest, straightforward, no-nonsense name: BELIEVE THE MOVIE. It comes as no surprise that the website for BELIEVE THE MOVIE also has an honest, straightforward, no nonsense URL: BelieveTheMovie.Com.

Want to get rich beyond your wildest dreams. All you need to do is BELIEVE. And to click on the PLAY button.

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