Quiznos Sues Itself; Charges Irreparable Damage to Brand

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[Pictured, Left, Quiznos Spokesman Bob at Press Conference]

DENVER In what legal analysts are calling unprecedented in the history of litigation, Quiznos Corporation has sued itself, claiming that it has done “irreparable harm to the Quiznos brand” and has “consistently failed to promote in such a manner as will not detract from or do damage to the reputation of Quiznos in the markeplace and the goodwill associated with the Quiznos name and trademarks.” The court filing included a request for an emergency injunction to prevent the Denver-based sandwich chain from “doing any more harm to itself and others.”

The move comes after the company, through its subsidiary QFA Royalties LLC, terminated deals with 10 members of the board of the Toasted Sandwich Franchisee Association, a group that often is critical of the company’s practices. Quiznos terminated the franchises after the TSFA posted a tribute to franchisee Bob Baber, who killed himself last month in a California Quiznos and left a note detailing his troubles with the company.

Documents filed in U.S. District Court in Denver allege Quiznos Corporation’s treatment of its franchisees constitutes a breach of common decency and a violation of state statutes. In a prepared statement, Quiznos spokesman Bob stated that its own franchisee-relations policies were “deplorable” and “unconscionable.” Said Bob: “We’re out of control. We’ve got to be stopped.”

When asked how they would finance their mounting legal costs, Baby Bob smiled and said: “Not to worry. That’s what Ad Funds are for.”

About Richard Quick