About Author: Richard Quick

Looking for an exciting franchise that combines your love of spotlessly clean glass with the heart-pounding exhilaration of traffic dodging with the unlimited earning potential of panhandling?

Your window of opportunity just may be a windshield!

Watch the Window washing Wealth! Franchise Video at FranWorst, home of the worst franchise opportunities anywhere!

Window Washing WealthBuilding! Franchise Video!

(Hey! You missed a spot!)

FranWorst has all the best of the worst franchise opportunities anywhere!

Hey, you outdoorsmen… Watch the video that will change your life! Believe Me!

Trapper Tom’s Nature Store Franchise Video

Now you can turn your tolerance of the outdoors into the Get Rich Quick! venture of your dreams… exploiting both the wave of nostalgia for the long-conquered natural environment AND the selling power of internationally celebrated naturist Trapper Tom, host of the hit outdoor show Trapper Tom’s Hot on the Trail series.

See you on the veranda!

Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.
Publisher, Franworst

Breaking news at Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.’s tax-free offshore blog FRANWORST, home of the ultimate franchise opportunities! Read all about it:

Big Beaver Demands Small Hooters

Don LaPre is only one of the celebrated graduates of Richard Quick, Esq.’s GET RICH QUICK! Millionaire’s Academy. I remember Don when he was just a thousandaire, hustling old ladies out of their snuff money in no-limit cribbage games behind Miami dog racing tracks. I’m proud to say I helped make him what he is today: an internationally known and loved infomercial zillionaire, like his mentor.

Watch Don LaPre’s Ultimate Road to Success!

It’s now playing on Richard Quick, Esq.’s FranWorst, home of the worst franchise opportunities anywhere!.

[Pictured, left, the personal Christmas card I received from President George W. Bush. As always, George commissioned pixwit.com to create his original artwork.]

It’s been another fantastic year for Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. (Yes, Virginia, the Rich DO Get richer!) I made a killing in No-Dinar-Down Iraqi Real Estate. It’s been a stellar year for my non-profit initiative at the National Association for the Advancement of Wealthy People. And, hopefully, it’s been a good year for you in your quest for financial freedom and personal prosperity. If you have listened to me, and made your payments on time, and purchased all of my motivational and instructional books, videos, DVDs, and Viewfinder inserts, then you should be closer to your dream of untold wealth.

THIS will be your YEAR!

I can sense it. I don’t just say this to all my website visitors. I can sense that YOU are special. You have potential. YOU have the millionaire mindset. All you lack is motivation. And my new updated RICHARD QUICK’S 99 BUSINESSES YOU CAN START ANYWHERE, EVEN PRISON which will be released later this month.

To help keep my students motivated, I like to give them occasional glimpses into my life, the life of their dreams. Whenever I can do so for free, or without disclosing my actual whereabouts, I will give you such a glimpse. That’s why I had one of my outsourced computer workers scan my Christmas card from George Bush (pictured above), so that I can show you the kind of Christmas cards YOU’LL be getting when you are filthy, filthy rich like me.

All of us ultra-wealthy owe George a big thank you. He’s a real leader. When foreign nations think that they can intimidate us by killing 2900 of our citizens, George proved them wrong by killing 3,000 himself. Saddam Hussein will think twice before attacking the World Trade Center again, I’ll tell you!

God bless King George! God bless you. God bless our war effort. God bless us with a prosperous 2007 with many happy returns (tax and otherwise)!

1. Waffle Delivery & Repair
2. Nudes ‘N Foods Franchise
3. The FOR SALE Bologna Brown-Eggs Quilts Crafts Cheese Flowers Pernnials franchise
4. The Town Crier Franchise
5. Be a Buccaneer Butcher!
6. Clean BJs & Weiners!
7. The Mr. Bagpipe Franchise
8. Start your own Church!
9. Old Barn Wood Furniture and Crafts
10. Peculiar Medical Clinic
11. Home Pasta Delivery
12. Become a Marketing Consultant!
13. Big Money in Midgets
14. Own a BetaMax Superstore!
15. Amish Country Signs Franchise
16. Make Luggage from Tape!
17. Start a Home Casino!
18. Turn Trash into Cash!
19. Unlock Windows of Opportunity
20. The ultimate booming business
21. Fungus “R” Us Toenail Fungal abatement
22. Mona Leasing Art Rental Franchise
23. Pseudodental Repair Franchise
24. Sell Dehydrated Water
25. Open an “As Seen in Motels” discount store
26. Open a Sundae Station franchise
27. Market “Afterlife Telegrams”
28. Win International Lotteries!
29. Assist Nigerian Millionaire Widows & Orphans
30. Sell your Immortal Soul!
31. Import Gourmet Minnesota Coconuts!
32. Sell Freeze Pops With REAL Shards O’ Glass
33. Sell Trendy Male Lipstick
34. Start a Home Lasik Surgery Center
35. Start your own Pet Island!
36. Sell Child Confinement & Transport Products
37. Sell Peace of Mind
38. Sell immortality. That’s right. IMMORTALITY!
39. Sell Doggy Eyewear!
40. Become a Lip Balm Addiction Counselor
41. Buy a Mooncake, Meatfloss & CuttleFish Franchise
42. Open a Simpson Alter Ego Rehabilitation Clinic
43. Sell Snake Penis Capsules Medicine
44. San Francisco Sausage Co. & Fudge Packery
45. Open a Squat ‘n Gobble Restaurant!
46. DAPZY’s! The Dangerous Animal Petting Zoo
47. The Big Green Mystical Ball
48. Become a Happy Hooker!
49. Open a Bette Davis BBQ Joint!
50. Open a Gun Store Tattoo Parlor
51. Sell HandJobs!
52. Sell FUELISH! Top Secret Gasoline Booster!
53. Sell Gently War-Torn Real Estate!
54. Flip No-Dinar-Down Properties!
55. Sell Frozen Meats. They’re endangered!
56. Sell AutoErotic Asphyxia Accessories
57. Open a Christian Dollar Store!
58. Rent Negroes for Big $$$$$
59. Human Caviar: The Next Big Craze!
60. Buy/Sell Black Market Babies, Pandas & Tigers.
61. Provide Primate Temp Tech Workers.
62. Become a Memory Erasure Intake Counselor.
63. Help Parents Create Perfect Children.
64. Build Corpses for Fun & Profit.
65. Or Become a Corpse Reseller.
66. Open a Brain Transplant Clinic…
67. Become a Deep Discount Travel Agent!
68. Sell delicious “PISS” (It’s imported!)
69. Become a Cheezus Freak!
70. Sell Republican Clothing
71. Sell Cute Lil Fetuses
72. EZ TOYZ = EZ CASH!!!
73. Be a Cavie Costumer!
74. No-Money Down Iraqi Real Estate
75. Friendly Fire Fast Funds Franchise!
76. Sell UFO Abduction Insurance!
77. Sell Cow Pie Clocks
78. Sell Penis Birds
79. Sell Penis Clowns
80. Become a Rectal Exam Trainer!
81. Start an Anti-Currency Movement!
82. Become a Contract Killer!
83. Sell Innovative Fruit Carriers
84. Sell Yarmulkebras!(TM)
85. Rent Your Chest!
86. Sell Vulva Puppets!
87. Sell Nipple Stifflers
88. Start an Ultimate Taxi Service!
89. Become an Etch-a-Sketch Artist!
90. Sue your employer!
91. Magic Money Matrix as seen on OPRAH!
92. Shit Creek Paddle Store Franchise
93. Start a Band called Sand Dollar
94. AdVerPets NewMedia Franchise
95. Automated Bovid Dispensers Franchise
96. Start a Bumvertising Agency
97. LOOK RICH QUICK! The Franchise
98. Learn Exotic Dancing at home!
99. Sell ANALRETTES Smoking Alternative
100. Sell Inflatable Commander-in-Chiefs
101. Sell Friendly Fire Ammo… Like Snuffy!
102. Sell Lunar Advertising!
103. Sell EnviroAd Product Placement
104. Sell DIY Drunk Tests!

Sign up for Get Rich Quick! the Newsletter and you’ll Get Rich Quick! Guaranteed!

If you don’t COMMENT, you don’t COUNT.

[Pictured, Left, Quiznos Spokesman Bob at Press Conference]

DENVER In what legal analysts are calling unprecedented in the history of litigation, Quiznos Corporation has sued itself, claiming that it has done “irreparable harm to the Quiznos brand” and has “consistently failed to promote in such a manner as will not detract from or do damage to the reputation of Quiznos in the markeplace and the goodwill associated with the Quiznos name and trademarks.” The court filing included a request for an emergency injunction to prevent the Denver-based sandwich chain from “doing any more harm to itself and others.”
READ THE WHOLE STORY HERE

Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. is delighted to announce that the Quiznos franchise program has been named the first nominee for entrance to the FranWorst Franchise Hall of Shame Award!

While the competition was tough, Richard Quick Esq. announced that the bold, wonderfully ruthless termination of the franchise agreements of ten franchise owners (representing 17 stores) really put them in a class of their own.

The terminations were made in response to the leaking of the alleged suicide note of their fellow franchisee Bob Baber, who was distraught over the failure of his franchise and his ongoing litigation with Quiznos Corporation. The ten were board members of the Toasted Sub Franchise Association.

“The cold, uncaring nature of the franchise terminations in the wake of their comrade’s death, and the corporation’s total commitment to excellence in self-interest and wealth acquisition brought tears of admiration to my eyes,” said Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. “They are an inspiration to the youth of America.”

Read all about the amazing Quiznos at

The Franchise That’s Too Good to be True: Quiznos!

Mr. Body Parts is the country’s first and only home-based whole-body donation and dissemination franchise. As a franchisee, you’ll make a difference. You’ll be somebody. And while you barely finished high school, you will be in the business of saving lives–every time medical students practice techniques on the tissue samples you’ve sent over, you’re saving lives. Every time an established veteran doctor practices on a limb or spine that you provided at a low everyday price with never an upcharge for same-day shipping, you’re saving lives. And every time a veteran doctor practices a new surgical technique on a corpse instead of on a father of six, or even a supermodel, you’re saving lives. You’ll not only live the kind of lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of, you’ll hold the key to life and death in your very hands. You’ll be like God’s right-hand-man… working right out of your garage, shed or spare bedroom.