Handling Customer Complaints by Richard Quick, Esq.

Customer Service is critical in the competitive fast food industry. I try to set the example to my help that you should go above and beyond to meet the needs of your customers, even when it interferes with your own personal morals and sense of decency. If we're not willing to do it, believe me, some schmuck at Quizno's will. Watch how I handle this complaint, and learn: Posted: 2008-03-12 by Deidra Neely Inappropriate conduct!

Complaint Rating:

Company information: Subway Restaurant Visalia, California Deidra Neely writes:

My husband frequents a local subway because it is close to his work. He got know some of the workers. A month ago we had had a false alarm and thought I was pregnant. My husband was all excited and was telling people about it. He saw the manager at this subway and she asked if we were still trying to have kids, he said no it was a false alarm. She told him " why don't you and I get together and do it? Why don't you get me pregnant? my husband told her that his wife wouldn't like it. She replied, " why would she have to know"? That is extremely inappropriate. I called her and told her she was out of line, she said sorry, with attitude. She said she doesn't know how to explain what she said. Its pretty clear, she wants to sleep with my husband. I have worked in customer service and food industry and never spoke to a customer that way, I don't care how comfortable I was with them, I need to find a way to find out who the owner of this restaurant is. She tries to take my husband, I will take her job...

Richard Quick, Esq. responds:

I am the owner of the Subway in question. I am sorry that your experience with our Subway restaurant was not up to your expectations. We train our staff to exceed the customers expectations with every visit. Perhaps our manager miscommunicated or your husband misinterpreted our exceptional service. I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. I would like to invite your husband and yourself to give us another chance as my guests. I have two coupons at the front counter for free THE FEAST double stacked subs. THE FEAST is stacked and packed with spicy Pepperoni, Genoa Salami, Black Forest Ham, tender Roast Beef, Turkey and American Cheese, topped by your favorite veggies and sauces, piled high on freshly baked bread. Additionally, if your husband is still "shooting blanks, " I may be able to be of service in that regard as well. Please fill out our standard application, attach a recent photograph and leave it with the Sandwich Artist on duty. I'm sure that you, unlike your husband, won't be such a tattletale. See you on the veranda, Richard Quick, Esq. Visalia regional franchise owner Subway restaurants

Would I really inseminate the kind of horrid woman who not only eats at Subway, but would actually be in competition with a 40 year old Subway manager? Of course not. I'd have one of the illegals from the back do it. But the point is that just because we're quick service doesn't mean we can't provide full service.

CONSUMER ADVOCATE RICHARD QUICK, ESQ.: 3 Steps to Getting what you want!

Company information: The Great Indoors/Sears Chandler Chandler, Arizona Karen Polick writes:

We have a Kenmore Elite 3 door refrig purchased from the Great Indoors. It has been serviced 5 times ..3 times for the same reason..circuit board quits working..we loose the cooling in both the freezer and frig part. We have lost food 3 times. We have been requesting a replacement and no one in the entire Sears organization has the authority to do anything except tell us we purchased the wrong kind of warranty... We will never purchase another thing from Sears. I have been hung up on, passed on to other areas and back again and get no where. It is my intention to notify everyone about the poor customer service and refusal to stand behind their products...

Richard Quick, Esq. responds: Karen, people hang up on you, neglect you and pass you around like a drunken bimbette at a college kegger because you ALLOW them to. You have adopted a victim mentality. And you're annoying. Here's how to immediately address this situation:

1. Stop pestering these poor people. They've got a business to run and shareholders to satisfy.
2. Stop eating so much and you'll not only stop wearing out the fridge, but you and your chubby hubby will save a fortune on fad diets and worthless exercise machines. I know. you order them from us.
3. Join the Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. Millionaire Mindset Power Performance Group "From Inferior to Superior in 90 Days" and people will start jumping when you call.

Now get back to work so you can pay me to change your life! See you on the veranda! RQ

Richard Quick, Esq. Launches Fair Franchise Seal Program

(FranWorst.com – Worst Franchises Anywhere)  Beloved Millionaire and Philandererthropist Richard Quick, Esq. announced the first of four or five or so designations of FranWorst.Com Fair Franchising Seals: 

The SEEMS FAIR TO ME Fair Franchise Seal.

Said the revered Richard Quick, Esq.:  “There are great franchises, good franchises, and fair franchises.  Now franchise buyers can tell the latter from the rest.”

According to a QuickCo press release, the FranWorst.com Fair Franchising awards are an important step in solving the critical shortage of awards, rankings and seals that has plagued franchising in recent years.

The SEEMS FAIR TO ME Fair Franchise Seal is the most affordable of the FranWorst.com seals.  The award comes with a fully grown bull elephant seal with the official FranWorst.Com emblem branded on its back, and is entry-level priced at $10,000*.

The awarding of the first Franworst Fair Franchising Awards will take place at the International Franchise Expo in Washington D.C. in April of this year.  Other Fair Franchising Awards to be designated include FranWorst.Com Fair-To-Middling Franchise and the coveted Any-More-Fair-It’d-Be-Good. 

For more information or to nominate a franchise company for the Fair Franchise Seal, leave a comment below.

*15,000 without the elephant seal

FranWorst.com is the Home of the Famous FranWorst Franchise 500, the only franchise ranking companies pay to be removed from!

Richard Quick, Esq. to Award FranWorst.Com Fair Franchising Seal At IFE

(FranWorst.com – Worst Franchises Anywhere) 

The Veranda – Beloved Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. announced today that he will be soon unveil a new program dedicated to helping prospective franchise buyers identify the fair franchise opportunities. 

As usual, the billionaire has your best interest in mind.  Said Quick:

I have been very fortunate, and it is time for me and the FranWorst.com family to give back to those individuals who have given so much to us and will likely keep giving in the future.  Truth be told, there are great franchises, good franchises, and some that are, at best,  fair franchises.  The purpose of the FranWorst.com Fair Franchising Awards is to help buyers identify the fair franchises, and to help combat the critical shortage of seals in franchising.

According to a FranWorst.com press release, there will be several different levels to the Fair Franchising Awards, ranging from Looks-Fair-To-Me to Fair-To-Middling to the coveted Any-More-Fair-It’d-Be-Good. 

The awarding of the first Franworst Fair Franchising Awards will take place at the International Franchise Expo in Washington D.C. in April of May of this year.

Many more selected details will be released in the days to come.

Earth to Rolling Rock: We Already Put an Ad on the Moon.

 (FranWorst.com) by Richard Quick, Esq.   How was it that Rolling Rock decided to throw away their advertising budget and what little of their reputation might have existed on attempting – and failing – a supposedly outrageous ad stunt – putting an ad on the moon – without even knowing it had already been done?

Easy.  They used the same powerful instinct that led them to neglect inviting Environmental Advertising powerhouse Enviro-Ad to be their agency of record. The decisive moment, I’m sure, involved a boardroom meeting and some drunk hillbilly executive that just rolled out of the hills to say:  I know!  Let’s find us an advertising agency just as piss-poor as our beer!  Then let’s go with whatever piss-poor idea those Goodby Silverstein morons come up with!

And that’s what they did.  And failed at doing what we ALREADY DID SUCCESSFULLY for KFC, a real company that knows how to hire a REAL advertising agency.

Idiots.

HOW KFC BECAME THE FIRST BRAND ADVERTISED ON THE MOON

“What good is the moon?” the great Ivan Boesky once asked Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. over a fine cognac, “If you can’t buy it or sell it?”

“Some day, Ivan, I will,” replied Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. “Cheers!”

And thus the seed was sown for another great advertising innovation by QuickCo: EnviroAd Lun.E.

In 2006, while the EnviroAd Lun.E program was in final testing, Richard Quick, Esq. received a desperate call from his friend and sometimes caddy KFC President Greg Dedrick. Dedrick was distraught over KFC’s botched attempt at a creative reintroduction of its redesigned, “contemporized” logo. Dedrick explained that he had foolishly attended an ad agency creative presentation while under the influence of 6 of the Colonel’s 11 secret herbs.

“I guess I approved a plan to construct an 87,500 square-foot replica of Colonel Sanders’ ‘contemporized’ face in the Area 51 desert,” Dedrick sobbed. “And these morons actually did it! They launched a whole PR campaign titled ‘KFC Creates World’s First Brand Visible from Space.’”

“Greg, I warned you about those herbs & spices.”

“There are satellite photos, Richard! I’m quoted in the release as saying ‘If there are extraterrestrials in outer space, KFC wants to be their restaurant of choice.’! The board and the franchisees will skewer and roast me rotisserie-style. My career is over. You’ve got to help me.”

To help his friend and secure his caddying services for life, Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. rushed the final testing of his EnviroAd Lun.E program and launched the first extraterrestrial advertisement, making KFC the first brand advertised on the moon.

Recounts Quick: “KFC’s agency had the right idea, just backwards. It was as if they had their heads where their derrieres are supposed to be, and vice versa. They broke one of the chief rules of advertising: Place your promotional message where it will be visible to at least some of Earth’s inhabitants.”

Working around the clock, the team at Quick Research Group fine-tuned the world’s most powerful laser projection device, and beamed the “contemporized” face of Colonel Sanders onto the moon. The Colonel’s loveable mug now spans the 60 mile wide Copernicus Crater, covering 1.4 billion square feet, and is visible to the entire population of Earth.

KFC Out-of-This-World Value Meal a huge success!
Quick Promotion Group devised and launched a wildly successful tie-in promo: the KFC Out-of-This-World Value Meal, which comes with 8 pieces of Original Recipe or Extra Crispy Chicken, 2 Homestyle Side items, 4 buttermilk biscuits, and a QuickCo QuickView Portable Telescope, featuring a 150mm-diameter, 1200mm focal length parabolic primary mirror, a 1.25″ aluminum focuser and a navigation knob for easy slewing, plus a finder scope and two Sirius Plössl eyepieces. The KFC Out-of-This-World Value Meal is value-priced at only $199.99. Customers can Colonel-size it for an additional 39 cents and receive an eyepiece rack, quick-collimation cap, and hard dust cap featuring the Colonel’s “contemporized” likeness.

Click here to learn how EnviroAd Lun.E can make YOUR brand history, too.

CLICK HERE TO COMMENT on the KFC EnviroAd Lun.E Promotion

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