Archive for May, 2006

Meet Dee.
Dee has a blog called Hark! Imagination!
Dee claims to be in the Education field.
Dee claims that his ethics are 100% liberal, 0% conservative.
Dee is a liberal, and thinks Stephen Colbert is righteous!

Here’s what Dee says in his May 15, 2006 Sharing the Wealth post:

I have implemented some Google Adsense information into my blog… I earn a few
pennies if you readers either click the ads featured at the top or the sidebar,
or if you run search results for the Web or for my site, or if you download
Firefox or other Google products through here. Every bit helps….
honestly, folks… If you have a link or an ad, I’ll click it, and I’ll
leave you a comment saying as much. … , please click me and I’ll click you,
and we’ll both be better off….Whatever the overtones, we’ll all make a few
extra coins and we’ll be helping each other.

Accomplice Kendra said…

Thanks for the clicks! I will of course reciprocate…

That’s what I like: 100% Liberal ethics. It’s fine to rail against government corruption, to be giddy with Stephen Colbert rants about honesty, but in the liberal personal life it’s justifiable to steal from the small business owners who have to pay for fraudulent clicks. It’s OK to sign the Google Adsense agreement that prohibits this type of theft. Perhaps scariest of all is the cluelessness inherent in this. Dee, baby, you have a Blogger blog. Google owns Blogger. Do you really think your genius moneymaking idea, if it works, will escape their notice?

Education? Just who is this genius planning to educate? Oh, yeah. Liberals.

Liberal Ethics update: Dee claims that he is within the Google AdWord guidelines (because advertisers are OK with paying for bogus hits) and he invited me to contact Google. I have. Dee also started crying ‘cuz I expressed my opinion. Funny, he can smear his employer all over the Rip-off Report, but he can’t handle an idea exchange about his own… self.

Please post your comments on whether you think Stephen Colbert fans are homos.

The evidence is hard to ignore:
STEPHEN COLBERT: THE BALLS REPORT
Colbert’s Balls on Blogs
Stephen Colbert: Liberals Debate His Balls
Colbert’s Balls Divide Democrats

I don’t want to sway your judgement, but the people leaving comments on ThankYouStephenColbert.Org are the most embarrassing collection of losers and homos that I’ve seen since we were featured on FARK.COM. In fact, I rank them second only to the Farking Losers of FARK.COM in total time-wasting loserdom and homo-geneity. I have dubbed these Stephen Colbert-worshiping homos with their own, neat moniker. From this day forward, they will be known as CoMos.

This war between America’s beloved Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. and rebel Happinista leader and cofounder of the National Gross Happiness Team (GNH Team) Sara Nichols is completely out of control. It started with my innocent post to her blog snichols.blogspot.com in response to a positive post on Stephen Colbert in which she said Stephen was “spot-on.”

I’m sorry, but there are certain terms that set me off, and “spot-on” is one of them. But I showed restraint, posting only a comment that included “Colbert is as funny as people who use the term “spot-on” are interesting. Or genuine.”
Happinista Nichols unleashed an invective-filled vitriolic diatribe via email that accused me of being “unkind.”

I was stunned and my happiness has taken a serious hit to the port and/or starboard. And now after sending her two emails, the most recent of which includes an apology, Happinista Susan Nichols has decided to unleash her happy hounds of heck upon me by not responding to me. The unhappy silence enshrouds the Richard Quick Estate like a cloud that lacks sound. A non-audiophonic fog has consumed the very soul of this once-happy palacial mansion.

And while the guests are arriving for the lavish debauchery I host each night, I feel so utterly alone… with only my wealth and twin supermodels to console me. Alas…

A history of the conflagration:
The Attack begins.
The Truth about the radical Happinistas emerges
Rebel Happinista Communique Leaked!

SOME SAY STEEL BALLS.
SOME SAY BRASS.
ALL ARE KISSING
COLBERT’S ASS.
THEY WATCH AND WATCH
ON THEIR HIP MACS
WHEN E’ER THEIR BOSSES
TURN THEIR BACKS
IF ONE SPEECH GIVES
SUCH AN ERECTION
THEY’D BURST IF THEY WON
AN ELECTION

Stephen Colbert is the new darling of the moronic liberal blogging community, a distinction akin to being voted the best-looking waitress at Denny’s. Perhaps the giddying effect of viewing Brokeback Mountain still lingers, because this highly original and creative community (as evidenced by their sheep-like conformity and their zombie-like parroting of catch-phrases) seems to be most obsessed with Stephen Colbert’s balls. Here are a few posts on some of the more pathetic time-wasting loser sites.

From Arianna Huffington’s pathetic The Huffington Post:
Shakespeare’s sister: “Stephen Colbert has Balls as Big as Church Bells”
RQ responds: Don’t you mean Sir Francis Bacon’s sister?
Rangerk8: “… massive balls.”
Mrravini: “This guy has balls.”
mason: “…a man with integrity AND balls”
nateroberts: “…ballsy performance.”
partypartyparty: “Mr. Big Balls Colbert”

RQ responds: Unobtainium. Isn’t that what the Democrats use to build their political platforms?

On the esteemed liberal intellectual site drunkenmonkeymovies.com
“Stephen Colbert’s balls weighed in at a massive 20 lbs. a piece…. Colbert could feasibly impregnate 23 different women with his massive balls”
RQ responds: Excellent insights. Creative extrapolation. You’re a true visionary. Then again, with a name like drunkenmonkeymovies.com, you’ve gotta be good!

Posts on effeminate sfgate.com
sfgate: “Stephen Colbert Has Brass Cojones.”
RQ responds: Cojones, translated, means a bunch of moron followers who think parroting catch phrases makes them funny right?
tothestarz: “Wow does that man have balls!!!!!!”
RQ responds: Easy, stars. Take your meds. Breath in. Breath out. Very good.

Hank Fox, man with dogs. (http://www.hankfox.com)
“He was ballsy as King Kong… Balls of steel… Colbert has balls the size of coconuts”
RQ Responds: Hank. Tell the truth. It was you who let the dogs out, wasn’t it? Hank?!

http://blogs.citypages.com/ctg/2006/04/the_truthiness.asp
The Religious Left: “Mr. Colbert, thank God for your balls! If they weren’t already huge and made of gold-plated brass, I’d suggest bronzing them.”
RQ responds: He’s too modest to plug himself, but if you need brass gold-plated or bronzed, or advice on which way to go with it, contact TRL. He’s the best.
Tanvir: “Balls.”
Susan F: “Balls of Steel”
Alex: “Balls out.”
Will C. “He *really* does have balls.”
Firefly: “Holding the mirror to expose Bush’s naked butt… required balls of steel”
RQ responds:…and a real dedication to your work!

From the Pretentious Veganista Eco-Girl Site:
Truthgobbler Says: “Gargantuan brazen balls.”
RQ responds: One of my favorite dishes! But is that vegan?
Bonzai, The Evil Joker Says: “Greetings from Romania. It really took balls to pull the stunt you did!”
RQ responds: Thanks, Bonzai. Now finish your gruel and get back to your Romanian prison cell.

Other Sad Loser sites:
http://kudzumonamour.blogspot.com/: “what gigantic balls of steel stephen colbert must have”
Jointblog for Media Trend Watching: “Big Brassy Balls
http://scrutinyhooligans.blogspot.com: “big balls of steel…”
http://www.bitetv.ca: “Stephen Colbert’s balls must be HUGE”
http://www.gogela.com: “Balls of Stainless Steel”
http://www.smarkschoice.com: “Balls out.” (?)
http://journals.democraticunderground.com: (plain adder) “how ginormous Colbert’s balls must be”
RQ responds: Ginormous! That’s cute. Plain Adder. Does Mommy know you’re on the computer?

From Shakespeare’s Homely Sister blog http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com
Dawg: STEVE’S BRASS BALLS ARE BIGGER THAN ALLAH’S puny BALLS BY A GOOGOLPLEX!
RQ responds: EH?
puellasolis: this man has balls of fuckin’ titanium.
Vast Left: Colbert also gives out a Brass Balls Award, and I hope I takes one for himself
RQ responds: Dream big, vast.

From coconuts to church bells, from serious to awesome to pure… the mindless debate rages within the liberalagentsia who seem unconcerned with the time they waste on their employers’ dimes. Here are posts from the embarrassing Stephen Colbert tribute site thankyoustephencolbert.org:

Liberals debate the size of Stephen Colbert’s balls:
Matthew Says: …You, my friend, have balls as big as church bells.
Chris James in Albuquerque Says: Steven, you have balls the size of coconuts…
Adam Peterton Says: balls the size of Washington
holly Says: Mmmmmm, mmmmmm, balls.. I like ‘em big.
Andrew Says: Colbert is a true American hero… With Huge Balls.
Adam Peterton Says: balls the size of Washington
Ben T Says: …balls as big as grapefruits…
Lucy B Says: Like cantaloupes, man. Giant, genetically altered, cantaloupes.
Matthew Schwartz Says: …the biggest balls on earth.
Alec Binyon Says: You have enormous, Texas sized brass balls.
MWW Says: The man has brass balls the size of texas.
Matthew Schwartz Says: …the biggest balls on earth.
Lyn Ramsay Says: the biggest balls in television.
Olmy Says: Amazing. Huge balls.
Nics Says: … balls the size of Texas.
D.J. Says: …cajones the size of canteloupes.
Rickie-Ann Says: balls bigger than Texas.

Stephen Colbert’s balls compared:
Large Meaty Ballsack Says: Balls that rival my own.
Dan Says: you truly do have the most balls in the journalism business.
Won Garner Says: You are a hero, with the biggest balls on the planet.
RJ Says: …biggest balls of them all.
Meddling Kids Says: …bigger balls than anyone except Helen Thomas!
Bill Hicks Says: I have never seen balls of this magnitude!!!

Other attributes of Stephen Colbert’s balls:
Niki Morris Says: …it must have taken some serious balls…
Joanne Says: Awesome balls
Jeff Tarbell Says: I salute your gigantic, red, white and blue balls.
JJ Says: the greatest example… pure balls i’ve ever seen…
Bob Saget Says: …mighty balls. Mighty, mighty balls.

Liberals debate the composition of the balls of Stephen Colbert
Brass: 21 Steel: 9 Titanium: 2 Granite: 1 Irony: 1 Unobtainium: 1
ik Says: Your tribute should be in Wikipedia under the definition of “Big Brass Balls”.
Elizabeth Conley Says: Thank you for your courage, your insight and your shiny brass balls.
Dain Says: … give yourself the brass balls award, because that took “mucho grudas.”
maurinsky Says: God bless you, Mr. Colbert, and God bless your Big Brass Balls.
S Nair Says: … Stephen “BrassBalls” Colbert…
Indra Says: … if you didn’t already have a pair of Stephen’s Big Brass Balls they would surely be awarded to you.
BOB HAVLAN Says: BALLS OF BRASS.
Kevin Brady Says: …Hopefully your big, brass balls will have some impact,…
Paul Weyland Says: We’re starting a movement to buy you an 800-pound pair of BRASS BALLS for your courage.
Matt Moore Says: When you say you’ve got brass balls, you hit the president over the head with them just to prove it.
razorboy666: “Stephen ‘Big Brass Balls’ Colbert!!!”
Peter Says: …huge, shiny, brass balls.
Vytas B Says: …massive, massive brass balls.
Ray Lehtiniemi Says: Brass balls indeed!
Magorn Says: giant brass balls
Ezra Klein “Brass balls, baby.”
Kira Alexander Says: Those are some brass balls you have there.
honey bunny Says: you’ve got some big, brass balls, and… i have the highest respect for you. because i respect big, brass balls.
RQ responds: Why don’t you come by Quick Mansion around 9 tonight, honey bunny? And pick up a can of Brasso on the way.

Other:
a mitten Says:… gigantic balls of steel!
Ed Says: You have balls of steel my man.
kenaan tabikh Says: my friends are saying you have “balls of steel”!
RQ responds: You’ve got friends now, Keenan? Good for you! MySpace IS a wonderful thing!
Kurt W Says: You truly have balls of steel!
anonymous Says: That took titanium balls.
FAT BASTARD Says: YOUR BALLS ARE GIANT ORBS OF TITANIUM!
Justin Linder Says: …You got some granite balls my man!
Javed Says: You have balls of truth.
amy Says: Huge balls of irony.
RQ responds: So THAT’S how he onomonopeias with such force!
schadenfrauline: “you have balls turned from pure Unobtainium, stronger than brass, rarer than Platinum… “

Logistical Challenges of Stephen’s Big Balls
ColbertForPrez Says: …balls so large they may actually tear a rift in the space-time continuum.
Gavortnik Says: You’ve got huevos, chutzpah, cojones, moxie, grit, sand and, most of all, hangin’ danglin’ balls the size of brass cannonballs. How you can walk without being preceded by native bearers holding ‘em up is a puzzle to me.
Otis Says: God, it must be hard walking around with those GIGANTIC balls… Big ups to you, Mr. Colbert. Keep ‘em swinging!

Hail to the Balls!
Jacques Lambert Says: … I applaud your balls, sir. I really do. I don’t generally applaud another man’s balls but in this case, it is called for.
Scott Faulkner Says: I salute your balls, sir!
NOTE: “Balls of Steel” image is used as a parody only. Balls of Steel name and logo are trademarks of The 3D Realms.

Stephen Colbert is the new darling of the moronic liberal blogging community, a distinction that’s kind of like being the best-looking waitress at Denny’s. Perhaps the giddying effect of Brokeback Mountain still lingers, because this highly original and creative community (as evidenced by their sheep-like conformity and their zombie-like parroting of catch-phrases) seems to be most obsessed with Stephen Colbert’s balls. Here are a few posts on some of the more pathetic time-wasting loser sites.

From Arianna Huffington’s pathetic The Huffington Post:
Shakespeare’s sister: “Stephen Colbert has Balls as Big as Church Bells”
RQ responds: Don’t you mean Sir Francis Bacon’s sister?
Ezra Klein “Brass balls, baby.”
Rangerk8: “… massive balls.”
razorboy666: “Stephen ‘Big Brass Balls’ Colbert!!!”
Mrravini: “This guy has balls.”
mason: “…a man with integrity AND balls”
nateroberts: “…ballsy performance.”
partypartyparty: “Mr. Big Balls Colbert”
schadenfrauline: “you have balls turned from pure Unobtainium, stronger than brass, rarer than Platinum… “
RQ responds: Unobtainium. Isn’t that what the Democrats use to build their political platforms?

On the esteemed liberal intellectual site drunkenmonkeymovies.com
“Stephen Colbert’s balls weighed in at a massive 20 lbs. a piece…. Colbert could feasibly impregnate 23 different women with his massive balls”
RQ responds: Excellent insights. Creative extrapolation. You’re a true visionary. Then again, with a name like drunkenmonkeymovies.com, you’ve gotta be good!

Hank Fox, man with dogs. (http://www.hankfox.com)
“He was ballsy as King Kong… Balls of steel… Colbert has balls the size of coconuts”
RQ Responds: Hank. Tell the truth. It was you who let the dogs out, wasn’t it? Hank?!

http://blogs.citypages.com/ctg/2006/04/the_truthiness.asp
The Religious Left: “Mr. Colbert, thank God for your balls! If they weren’t already huge and made of gold-plated brass, I’d suggest bronzing them.”
RQ responds: He’s too modest to plug himself, but if you need brass gold-plated or bronzed, or advice on which way to go with it, contact TRL. He’s the best.
Tanvir: “Balls.”
Susan F: “Balls of Steel”
Alex: “Balls out.”
Will C. “He *really* does have balls.”
Firefly: “Holding the mirror to expose Bush’s naked butt… required balls of steel”
RQ responds:…and a real dedication to your work!

From the Pretentious Veganista Eco-Girl Site:
Truthgobbler Says: “Gargantuan brazen balls.”
RQ responds: One of my favorite dishes! But is that vegan?
Bonzai, The Evil Joker Says: “Greetings from Romania. It really took balls to pull the stunt you did!”
RQ responds: Thanks, Bonzai. Now finish your gruel and get back to your Romanian prison cell.

Other Sad Loser sites:
http://kudzumonamour.blogspot.com/: “what gigantic balls of steel stephen colbert must have”
Jointblog for Media Trend Watching: “Big Brassy Balls
http://scrutinyhooligans.blogspot.com: “big balls of steel…”
http://www.bitetv.ca: “Stephen Colbert’s balls must be HUGE”
http://www.gogela.com: “Balls of Stainless Steel”
http://www.smarkschoice.com: “Balls out.” (?)
http://journals.democraticunderground.com: (plain adder) “how ginormous Colbert’s balls must be”
RQ responds: Ginormous! That’s cute. Plain Adder. Does Mommy know you’re on the computer?

From coconuts to church bells, from serious to awesome to pure… the mindless debate rages within the liberalagentsia who seem unconcerned with the time they waste on their employers’ dimes. Here are posts from the embarrassing Stephen Colbert tribute site thankyoustephencolbert.org:

Liberals debate the size of Stephen Colbert’s balls:
Matthew Says: …You, my friend, have balls as big as church bells.
Chris James in Albuquerque Says: Steven, you have balls the size of coconuts…
Adam Peterton Says: balls the size of Washington
holly Says: Mmmmmm, mmmmmm, balls.. I like ‘em big.
Andrew Says: Colbert is a true American hero… With Huge Balls.
Adam Peterton Says: balls the size of Washington
Ben T Says: …balls as big as grapefruits…
Lucy B Says: Like cantaloupes, man. Giant, genetically altered, cantaloupes.
Matthew Schwartz Says: …the biggest balls on earth.
Alec Binyon Says: You have enormous, Texas sized brass balls.
ColbertForPrez Says: …balls so large they may actually tear a rift in the space-time continuum.
Alec Binyon Says: You have enormous, Texas sized brass balls.
MWW Says: The man has brass balls the size of texas.
Matthew Schwartz Says: …the biggest balls on earth.

Stephen Colbert’s balls compared:
Large Meaty Ballsack Says: Balls that rival my own.
Dan Says: you truly do have the most balls in the journalism business.
Won Garner Says: You are a hero, with the biggest balls on the planet.
RJ Says: …biggest balls of them all.
Meddling Kids Says: …bigger balls than anyone except Helen Thomas!
Bill Hicks Says: I have never seen balls of this magnitude!!!

Other attributes of Stephen Colbert’s balls:
Niki Morris Says: …it must have taken some serious balls…
Joanne Says: Awesome balls
Jeff Tarbell Says: I salute your gigantic, red, white and blue balls.
JJ Says: the greatest example… pure balls i’ve ever seen…
Bob Saget Says: …mighty balls. Mighty, mighty balls.

Liberals debate the composition of the balls of Stephen Colbert
Brass: 21 Steel: 9 Titanium: 2 Granite: 1 Irony: 1 Unobtainium: 1
ik Says: Your tribute should be in Wikipedia under the definition of “Big Brass Balls”.
Elizabeth Conley Says: Thank you for your courage, your insight and your shiny brass balls.
Dain Says: … give yourself the brass balls award, because that took “mucho grudas.”
maurinsky Says: God bless you, Mr. Colbert, and God bless your Big Brass Balls.
S Nair Says: … Stephen “BrassBalls” Colbert…
Indra Says: … if you didn’t already have a pair of Stephen’s Big Brass Balls they would surely be awarded to you.
BOB HAVLAN Says: BALLS OF BRASS.
Kevin Brady Says: …Hopefully your big, brass balls will have some impact,…
Paul Weyland Says: We’re starting a movement to buy you an 800-pound pair of BRASS BALLS for your courage.
Matt Moore Says: When you say you’ve got brass balls, you hit the president over the head with them just to prove it.
Peter Says: …huge, shiny, brass balls.
Vytas B Says: …massive, massive brass balls.
Ray Lehtiniemi Says: Brass balls indeed!
Magorn Says: giant brass balls
Kira Alexander Says: Those are some brass balls you have there.
honey bunny Says: you’ve got some big, brass balls, and… i have the highest respect for you. because i respect big, brass balls.
RQ responds: Why don’t you come by Quick Mansion around 9 tonight, honey bunny? And pick up a can of Brasso on the way.

Other:
a mitten Says:… gigantic balls of steel!
Ed Says: You have balls of steel my man.
kenaan tabikh Says: my friends are saying you have “balls of steel”!
RQ responds: You’ve got friends now, Keenan? Good for you! MySpace IS a wonderful thing!
Kurt W Says: You truly have balls of steel!
anonymous Says: That took titanium balls.
FAT BASTARD Says: YOUR BALLS ARE GIANT ORBS OF TITANIUM!
Justin Linder Says: …You got some granite balls my man!
amy Says: Huge balls of irony.
RQ responds: So THAT’S how he onomonopeias with such force!

NOTE: “Balls of Steel” image is used as a parody only. Balls of Steel name and logo are trademarks of The 3D Realms.

Since I’m a major stockholder of Wendy’s, the board begged me to provide some new product ideas that can help pump up lagging sales. (Yep, SoQuid was mine) Go buy Wendy’s stock now, my students, because my new Body Parts promotion, starting with Wendy’s Thumbili, will be sending same store sales into the double digits. As brilliant as my SoQuid idea is, the Thumbili will be even better! Sign up for my newsletter and stay updated.

Note to arevolutionofone: Yes, HUMAN THUMB will appear twice in the ingredient list, for emphasis.

A plea to my loyal Richard Quick, Esq. VISIT A REVOLUTION OF ONE. It is important to study the enemy, to know what he’s thinking (mmm… beer…) Plus, I’m trying to bribe the poor misguided liberal into keeping me at the top of his capitalist hit list… ahead of Gates…

The following email exchange between rebel Happinista Leader Susan Nichols was somehow leaked to the press by a high ranking source in the CIA. the Bush Administration has announced a full investigation into the alleged leak.

Nichols: Who are you?
Quick: I am a self-made multi-millionaire devoted to teaching the unworthy how to gain power and wealth.

Nichols: Why would you feel it is okay to speak to me and my audience in such uncivil tones?
Quick:The question actually never occured to me.

Nichols: How do you know that I am not interesting or genuine?
Quick: 1) You are “a founding partner” of something called “the Gross National Happiness Team/GNH Team,” 2) You describe yourself in the third person as “…one of the best minds of a generation,” 3) You use cliches and phrases like “Must See T.V.” “blogosphere” and “spot on,” and 4) You are “a founding partner” of something called “the Gross National Happiness Team/GNH Team.”

Nichols:Do you get your thrills by being randomly cruel?
Quick: No. That was not my intention. I sincerely apologize if I was random.

Nichols:I found your post to be very unkind.
Quick:That is because I am not a kind person. But you, your job is to be kind. Your job is to spread happiness. But you were not kind to me. You did not attempt to understand that the cause of my deep seated hatred of others and my quest for wealth and power is that, deep down, I am just a frightened little boy who was never hugged as a child. If you had only understood, and told me that it is ok, and that I, too, deserve gross happiness, you could have changed the course of my life and you could have netted millions in donations for your worthy causes, like peace sign stickers made by the malodorous casualties of that bad batch of Vermont LSD in 1971.

But you didn’t. You should feel grossly unhappy when you think of all the good you could have done with those stickers.

[End of Transcription]

My supporters have been dismayed intimidating tactics of the radical fundamentalist Gross National Happiness Team. Anonymous sources have provided behind-the-scenes details of this powerful, shadow group. One of the heads of this organization, who goes by the name “Susan,” a self proclaimed “best mind of a generation” not only lives in California, but participates in “cohousing” (can you say commune?) Strong evidence suggests that her “cohouse” husband has links to the Sierra Club.

From where do these “Happinistas” import their insidious brand of joymaking activities? None other than the rugged rebel camps between India and China, the dreaded area known as The Land of the Thunder Dragon (a Tang Dynasty euphemism for nuclear warhead, if memory serves): Bhutan. Who doesn’t shiver in fear at the very mention of the Bhutan Death March?

Gross National Happiness Team/GNH Team claims its philosophy is based on “universal principles developed by the country of Bhutan.” Isn’t American happiness good enough for these people? I’m happy. Damn happy. I don’t remember being asked about my philosophy.

As it turns out, I know all about Bhutan, as I was considering buying it a few years ago. Do you want to know why they’re so happy there? Their population has a median age of 20 years old. Their life expectancy is 55 years old. Male literacy is 60%, female literacy is 34%. They have 1 TV station. They are a monarchy with no written constitution (they couldn’t read it anyway) and are lorded over by, I’m not kidding, King WANGCHUNG. The American hip-hop slang term “Bhutie” as in “Shake your Bhutie” is based on a traditional Bhutanese mating dance featuring spirited gyrations of aboriginal gluteal regions. It was transmitted through a settlement of Pennsylvania Shakers in Bhutan, known as the Bhutie Shakers.

Here’s the real reason the Happinista Democrats look to Bhutan for spiritual enlightenment. The Bhuties share the Liberal Democrats sense of fiscal responsibility. The Bhutanese “government” has a yearly revenue of $146 million and expenditures of $152 million. Hmmm…. A bunch of illiterate 20 year olds living irresponsibly beyond their means… sound familiar to anyone?

See you on the veranda! Richard Quick, Esq.

Americans: your first amendment rights are under attack by a radical leftist group called the GNH (Gross National Happiness) TEAM. The time is now to act to protect free speech and the freedom to express your political views within the blogging community. Once they take your right to blog, they’ll be coming for your guns next.

I made the mistake of entering a comment on a public blog (http://snicholsblog.blogspot.com) only to receive a vicious email from lawyer Susan Nichols of the “GNH Team” demanding to know my identity, accusing me of sadism and cruelty and calling me “unkind” without even getting to know me. All because I dared to express my view, as an American, that I didn’t think Stephen Colbert’s speech at the White House Press Corp. dinner was all that funny.

I ran across the site because I was trying to find a little happiness in this dark world. I thought perhaps the Gross Happiness Team might help. Sadly, I found the “gross” in this team, but the “happiness” was nowhere in sight.

See you all on the veranda!

Richard

From coconuts to church bells, from serious to awesome to pure… the mindless debate rages within the liberalagentsia who seem unconcerned with the time they waste on their employers’ dimes. Here are more disturbing messages from the Stephen Colbert tribute site thankyoustephencolbert.org:

Liberals debate the size of Stephen Colbert’s balls:
Matthew Says: …You, my friend, have balls as big as church bells.
Chris James in Albuquerque Says: Steven, you have balls the size of coconuts…
Adam Peterton Says: balls the size of Washington
holly Says: Mmmmmm, mmmmmm, balls.. I like ‘em big.
Andrew Says: Colbert is a true American hero… With Huge Balls.
Adam Peterton Says: balls the size of Washington
Ben T Says: …balls as big as grapefruits…
Lucy B Says: Like cantaloupes, man. Giant, genetically altered, cantaloupes.
Matthew Schwartz Says: …the biggest balls on earth.
Alec Binyon Says: You have enormous, Texas sized brass balls.
ColbertForPrez Says: …balls so large they may actually tear a rift in the space-time continuum.
Alec Binyon Says: You have enormous, Texas sized brass balls.
MWW Says: The man has brass balls the size of texas.
Matthew Schwartz Says: …the biggest balls on earth.

Stephen Colbert’s balls compared:
Large Meaty Ballsack Says: Balls that rival my own.
Dan Says: you truly do have the most balls in the journalism business.
Won Garner Says: You are a hero, with the biggest balls on the planet.
RJ Says: …biggest balls of them all.
Meddling Kids Says: …bigger balls than anyone except Helen Thomas!
Bill Hicks Says: I have never seen balls of this magnitude!!!

Other attributes of Stephen Colbert’s balls:
Niki Morris Says: …it must have taken some serious balls…
Joanne Says: Awesome balls
Jeff Tarbell Says: I salute your gigantic, red, white and blue balls.
JJ Says: the greatest example… pure balls i’ve ever seen…
Bob Saget Says: …mighty balls. Mighty, mighty balls.

Liberals debate the composition of the balls of Stephen Colbert
Brass: 16 Steel: 4 Titanium: 2 Granite: 1 Irony: 1
ik Says: Your tribute should be in Wikipedia under the definition of “Big Brass Balls”.
Elizabeth Conley Says: Thank you for your courage, your insight and your shiny brass balls.
Dain Says: … give yourself the brass balls award, because that took “mucho grudas.”
maurinsky Says: God bless you, Mr. Colbert, and God bless your Big Brass Balls.
S Nair Says: … Stephen “BrassBalls” Colbert…
Indra Says: … if you didn’t already have a pair of Stephen’s Big Brass Balls they would surely be awarded to you.
BOB HAVLAN Says: BALLS OF BRASS.
Kevin Brady Says: …Hopefully your big, brass balls will have some impact,…
Paul Weyland Says: We’re starting a movement to buy you an 800-pound pair of BRASS BALLS for your courage.
Matt Moore Says: When you say you’ve got brass balls, you hit the president over the head with them just to prove it.
Peter Says: …huge, shiny, brass balls.
Vytas B Says: …massive, massive brass balls.
Ray Lehtiniemi Says: Brass balls indeed!
Magorn Says: giant brass balls
honey bunny Says: you’ve got some big, brass balls, and… i have the highest respect for you. because i respect big, brass balls.
Kira Alexander Says: Those are some brass balls you have there.

Other:
a mitten Says:… gigantic balls of steel!
Ed Says: You have balls of steel my man.
kenaan tabikh Says: my friends are saying you have “balls of steel”!
Kurt W Says: You truly have balls of steel!
anonymous Says: That took titanium balls.
FAT BASTARD Says: YOUR BALLS ARE GIANT ORBS OF TITANIUM!
Justin Linder Says: …You got some granite balls my man!
amy Says: Huge balls of irony.

YOUR OPINION MATTERS. ADD A COMMENT ON STEPHEN COLBERT’S BALLS!