Unversisistisist.org. Talk about needing a sist removed!
Universist.Org pretentious self-important elitist liberal arts losers playing dress-up with pagan wiccan lesbo costumes found in the dumpster outside of real religions. Hey, let’s create a religion based on what we don’t believe! That way the boring pseudo-views we spew over Starbuck’s lattes can’t be challenged for the vapid drivel it is. Keep voting for candidates who will never win, losers!
On Wed. March 8, time-wasting site Fark.Com reacted to my seven-word review (“Farking Losers. Fark you, you farking farks.”) and posted a link on their little site. The post prompted a slight bump in my site traffic (26,000 hits or so), 260 comments on Fark.Com, and 50-60 on my site. Fark.Com should be kissing my rear end for the web traffic I sent their way, but this is the thanks I get.
Farker Nano said: God sent his son to preach goodwill on earth and kindness to your fellow man. He did not instruct you to leach wealth without working.
RQ responds: Well-spoken, Nano. God does not instruct how to leach wealth without working. That’s why I created “Richard Quick’s Amazing Seven Step Path to Leaching Wealth Without Working… Guaranteed!” program. Remember, the Lord helps those who help themselves. Those are words I live by.
Farker Punker 98 writes: You have a rather inflated view of yourself, don’t you? Isn’t it sad that money can’t buy you a personality? I hope you and that giant chip on your shoulder are very happy.
RQ responds: We are, Punker 98! In fact, I’m going to ask the Giant Chip to be my bride… if she’ll have me!
Farker Fuck You and Yours writes: I say old boy, how did you find these sites? Where they in John 6:16 or did you actually go on line and read them? What prays do you say to clean your soul after viewing all the kiddy porn? Oh, I know your just looking for new ideas and stumble across these sites.
RQ responds: Thanks for the link, FY&Y. I couldn’t find the John 6:16 kiddie porn site. Are you sure that’s the URL?
Farker Jeremy C said: Interesting… You’re a self-proclaimed billionaire, so I guess you don’t have anything better to do than rag on other people’s blogs. I can’t find you in Amazon or Google for that matter. And it’s funny that since it’s America, you have the right to say what you want, but when someone says something against you, you slap them in the face. Freedom is a two way street, pal.
RQ responds: Are you in the Amazon too? We’re bulldozing some godforsaken tropical rainforests so we can get these poor people some strip centers, donut shops and casinos. Email your cell, let’s grab a macawburger before they’re all gone, J-man.
QuickLikeDick writes: With a billion dollars, isn’t it frustrating that your life consists of posting on internet message boards? I mean, if I had a billion dollars, I guess I would be, you know, meeting women and vacationing quite a bit. Erectile disfunction your excuse, eh? They got medicine for that you know. Transgendered? That’s too bad, but I guess since you are the expert at the internets, you are aware of all the tranny-love sights to fufill you. Have fun with your webcam, dork.
RQ responds: “…if I had a billion dollars, I guess I would be, you know, meeting women…” Don’t be so hard on yourself, Quick. With a few measly million, even dwarves and Canadians get laid.
KaptainKremen posts: I met Dick Quick at a bar one time. I didn’t even know it was him. He was acting like a normal guy. His voice was different, his hair was different.. everything about him was different from what we imagine him to be like on his web site. After a few drinks he started talking about how he worked for the government and was tired of doing “the schtick” for them. Then, as more and more people began to realize who he was and started crowding around, he started getting belligerent. He threatened to have one of my friends killed and then some guy he was with grabbed him by the arm and they left.
RQ responds: Haven’t seen that friend lately, have you Cap’n?
I am too modest to post all the praise and lover letters I receive, so I dictate to a servant girl and have her post them. Thanks for your kind words and appreciation. See you on the veranda! RQ, E
Farker Timothy Broyles (on behalf of the entire Fark community) writes: As a long time member of the Fark community, I think I speak for most of us when I say…Huh? Who the hell are you? I’ve never heard of you until your little “contest” came to light. When did we ever talk about you? As for the education part, wow, you must be so intelligent to slam and entire group of people because of some slight perpetrated against you by a few people (though again, I’ve never heard of you before now). I’m sure you’re much cooler than us because you have money. That makes you super cool, right? By the way, of all the Farkers I personally know, which is a few, not one of them graduated from a community college, but an actually university [sic]. Surprise surprise, they also hold real jobs, making pretty damn good money. I’m sorry if you’re upset about what people you don’t even know are saying about you, but if you’re that thin skinned, then maybe you should go hide in a hole and stay of the internet [sic].
RQ responds: Thanks, Tim! Look for an excerpt of your message (“…You’re much cooler than us because you have money.” Tim Broyles) on the back cover of my upcoming book on the Fark community. You’ll be famous! Going to an “actually university” paid off! Take care, and you stay “of the internet” too! RQ, E
Farker Ken writes: You would make a great Billionaire for Bush!
RQ responds: You’re right. I already am! Thanks, Ken!
Farker MH writes: This has gotta be one of the best parody sites I’ve seen in a while. Brilliant.
RQ responds: Parody?
TricycleRacer writes: I hit it. Hard. In 1998 in Manhattan, I bumped into Richard Quick at the Parker Meridien. He was a complete gentleman and asked before insertion.
RQ responds: I think I remember you TR, but not your face. 1998 was a busy year, but I was always tried to be a gentleman.
Farker Splftwst writes: “Farking Losers. Fark you, you farking farks.” wow this is how self made millionaires spend their time? bitching aboot a website that posts links for people to laugh at, what kind of sense does that make? Have you had your UFIA today?
RQ responds: It wasn’t my intention to bitch “aboot” the Fark website, just the farking losers, child molesters, and Canadians who hang “aboot” there. And what’s UFIA? Unusually Farked-up Idiots United?
Farking Pam writes: I have nominated you for This Just In … Your Blog Sucks …
RQ responds: Thanks, Pam! Let me know how we do!
GibsonAV writes: Now THIS is funny stuff:”…God put us on earth to… Make money.”So not only are you among the torrid drones and leaches out there making millions by showing others…nothing…but you’re going to hide behind the bible curtain (and poorly I might add) to get their attention…and money. Amazing. The terms shyster and crackpot don’t do you justice. No doubt you’ll use your “comment moderation” to edit this down to a level you can rebutt or ridicule, but at least YOU’LL have read it all.
RQ responds: Congratulations, GibsonAV! An excerpt of your comments and your name will appear on my next book cover (“Now THIS is funny stuff… the terms shyster and crackpot don’t do you justice!” GibsonAV) By the way, where did you find those bible curtains? I’ve been looking everywhere!
OldManMorri writes: this is your best work yet.
RQ responds: You are a class act, Morri, both wise and correct. See you in church.
R writes: Great site! I can’t wait for your billionaire line of “U got pwned” t-shirts. Good luck with your coming out party!
RQ responds: Thanks, R. I hope it’s as much fun as my going in party!
SethFilms writes: Finally, a guy with more time on his hands than me. Well done.
RQ responds: Thanks. Praise like yours is… rare.
It has always been the way of peasants to malign their superiors. We elite understand that it helps them get through their miserable days, which is necessary for productivity and building wealth for us, so we tolerate it, just as we tolerate their poor hygiene. But recently, these attacks on me have become personal. I have received reports of posts on the forum of low-life cesspool Fark.com, and some on my own site, that question my manhood, virility, and the size of my manstick. When insects become too annoying, they must be swatted.
So I am proud to announce Richard Quick’s First Annual Farking Ugliest Farker Contest & search for the fugliest member of the fugliest group of timewasting, ghetto-squatting, community-college-degreed, self-righteouness-exuding and stupidity spewing losers on the web today. Simply email your nominations to richardquickesq@yahoo.com*. Include name, picture. Please use spelling.
* Richard Quick proudly uses email by Yahoo!, helping to jail chinese dissidents since 2005!
I received a fan letter from a delightfully scheming Farker named Brian C. Brian emailed: “you have no idea how much money actually flows through the non-profit sector. Some incredibly wealthy people have become so running Non-profits… check some numbers… the government loves to hand out checks to people they believe are do-gooders.” Bravo, Brian! You have the millionaire mindset!
Coincidentally, I received a solicitation from some poor schlub who organizes an inner-city sports club. He recruits players who 1) cant afford to play 2) are at risk of delinquency 3) have no means of transportation or equipment(shoes) or have a language barrier 4) are “good kids” but need something fun and positive to do. (Some club!) He needs $2230 to support each of three teams, much of which he’s put in from his own pocket in past years (go figure! It takes all kinds…). This year the teams are in danger of folding due to lack of funds. (I smell opportunity!)
So, students, what would you say is the best way to exploit this situation for monetary gain? I’m sure we could get the sponsorship for 30% less by cutting costs (no shoelaces, no cups, etc.). He has offered for the players to volunteer work time. We could sell advertising to malt liquor and payday loan companies. Put their street skills to work selling soccer eqpt boosted from other teams, performance-enhancing placebos, protection, crack, compromising pictures of Mia Hamm, etc. Send me your ideas, students, or add a comment. And let’s all, as they say in the inner city, give Freaky Farker Brian C. his props! See you on the veranda, Brian!
Brian C. Adds: Create a company in name only and eat the founding costs.. a lawyer to file the paperwork for non-profit status or jsut skip it and register as a philanthropic organization. It offers tax shelters not readily available to general corporations. You use the only asset you have readily available, the students and this person who is trying to start the program in the first place. If he really has the gonads to go through with it, the answer is simple.
Liquify as many personal assets you can or leverage it. Take a mortgage out on your house to start the creation of the Foundation, apply for non-profit status and open up for operation. Build your soccer field and then use the kids sad little faces to get smaller community based endeavors to help fund you. After a year of operation I believe, you are now eligible for matching funds from most major cities. If not, throw your hand into political campaigns. Find the smallest local official you can that has an interest in such things (All those mopes that attached to Arnold in CA when he ran made a bundle) Grease some palms, it’s the American way.
RQ, E. responds: Great, Brian. Only this guy isn’t based in America. He’s in Canada.
On Wed. March 8, time-wasting site Fark.Com reacted to my seven-word review (“Farking Losers. Fark you, you farking farks.”) and posted a link on their little site. I was assailed by comments by those who are only too willing to waste their employers’ time trying to defend their pathetic egos. Fark.Com should be happy I threw a little web traffic their way, but this is the thanks I get.
From Will (betheboy.blogspot.com): You have every right to your opinions of the sites mentioned but here’s the best way to deal with a site you don’t like: Ignore them. Also, the Wonkette-Wankette play on words, how DID you think of that? Almost as good as the Fark you Farkers. I mean you, kind sir are sheer brilliance.
RQ responds: Will, you are 31 years old. You have a site named Be The Boy. Your profile reads “You can’t make me fill this in. Same goes for all of the other categories. ” Your most recent post states: “I have had movies on my mind a lot lately.” Will, you not only should refrain from criticizing those superior to you, you should draw the drapes, climb into a dark closet and think very very hard about your life.
From Julio Sosa, Dominican Republic: Hahaha, you’re such an idiot. I bet you have a tiny penis.
RQ responds: HaHaHa, you lost that bet. Julio, with a listed occupation of “Slacking off and procastinating,” losing seems to be your calling. Being a baseball fan, I respect your people. If Uncle Manny won’t give you a job corking his bat, call me. Maybe you can push a lawnmower on one of my golf courses.
From Faulkna (faulkna.blogspot.com): So it’s all about money? Must make you good friends with the criminals that run this country. Enjoy!
RQ responds: Yes. Yes. And I will. If you and your enlightened, ethical homeless friends would stop squatting in my abandoned buildings, I’d appreciate it.
From Some Guy: What’s so bad about fark? If it weren’t for them, I would never have seen this site.
RQ responds: That’s a good sign for Fark. Perhaps they are realizing the futility of playing electronic village idiot to the Great Unwashed. It’s never too late to sell out. Even Ben & Jerry eventually gagged on the B.O. emanating from under the left wing.
From Red Mosquito: You are not a billionare.
RQ responds: I never claimed to be a billionaire. Judging from your eloquence, sharp wit and penetrating insight, you must be a Canadian. A Canadian with aspirations of upgrading to insect.
Hachura writes: You claimed to be a bliionaire right in your “About Me”: “made my first million by age 12, and reached billionaire status by 28″ You lose!
RQ responds: It doesn’t say that.
From DanteCervantes: Headline should’ve read: “Richard Quick’s a Time Wasting Loser writing Blogs”
RQ responds: DanteCervantes? Another proud Liberal Arts graduate of Orville Wright Junior College, no doubt. Sure, DanteCervantes, I’ll have fries with that.
From BobbyT (torgo.org): What kind of billionare houses a blog on blogspot??? Godaddy’s $9.95 a year too expensive for you???
RQ responds: Reason #1: I like to keep in touch with the masses, the little people, the downtrodden, the scabbed and diseased, the democrats. Reason #2: I believe in patronizing the companies I own. Bobby, I was going to hurl a brilliantly witty insult toward you, but then I visited your site and saw that you collect baking powder submarines. Bobby, I am so, so sorry.
From fnord: Way to waste your time, seeking ways for others to waste theirs. Oh, and you’re censoring, erm…”moderating”. Plus, you waste time insulting various people and websites and wasted more energy coming up with silly syntax such as “Loserologist”. So much money, and still insecure. That’s pathetic.
RQ responds: You use the word “pathetic” like one who knows of which he speaks. I propose a deal: If you teach me the meaning of the word “erm,” I will teach you that periods and commas go INSIDE the quotation marks.
From CR UVa (theredstater.blogspot.com/): The iPod is no iMac. While you may argue that Microsoft rules the computing world, Apple has a similar hold on portable music. Apple is not Microsoft, but it has surpassed Sony in that market; the iPod is today’s Walkman. Sure, in a few years, MP3 players will start competing with the iPod, much as portable music players caught up with the Walkman, but you have to admit that the iTunes Media Store was a good idea. For that matter, why are you bothering bashing them? Since you believe Apple is so weak, they should not deserve your time. And “Loserologist”? Yet, you call appleologist a nerd. Pot, meet kettle.
RQ responds: I have a confession, CR UVa. When I read your line “the iPod is today’s Walkman” I laughed so hard I spilled cognac down my smoking jacket. I think I actually burst a small blood vessel at “Pot, meet kettle.” But then I visited your blog, The Red Stater, and all was forgiven! I love you! You’re just young! You can always get a clue later! The important thing is you’re 22, an idealistic young Republican and you’re not afraid to say so! You are a promising young man, a pearl necklace amongst the swine. Call me when you graduate! You’re going places!
From Consuela: Senior Quick, I am going into town. Can I get you something?
RQ responds: We’re getting a little low on Scotch. And pick up a case or two of Chimay, the heavy kind. And some beef jerky.
From Consuela: Thank you, Senior Quick.
I regret to have to waste everybody’s time, but I must stop to defend my good name and reputation, as well as those who follow my wealth-building teachings. It is difficult when my integrity comes under attack, but because it reflects poorly on you, my minions. A certain ex-discple of mine has chosen to personally attack and slander my good reputation in the public forum of the Rip-Off Report.
The Rip-Off Report is a fine and respected consumer grievance site that helps separate scams from legitimate business opportunities such as those I promote in “Richard Quick’s Essential Guide to Legitimate Business Opportunities I Promote.” I hold R.O.R Founder Ed Magdeson in the highest regard, and feel he deserves a medal of honor for his consumer protectionism. It is unfortunate that Reverend Krok (a fitting name) chooses this forum to spew his lies. I unequivocably deny all his negative accusations and affirm those deemed impressive. He shall hear from my lawyer (me). Thank you for all the letters and emails of support. See you on the veranda! RQ
RIP-OFF REPORT: (http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/ripoff179656.htm)
These are blogs I’ve run across that fill feeble minds with anti-success rhetoric. What a disservice they do to young people who should be pursing that which God put us on earth to do: Make money. They are in no way the worst, just a list of the mediocre majority I’ve come across.
Richard Quick’s Time-wasting Loser Sites
Congratulations! You made it!
http://vyd6thcd.blogspot.com/ Adam Sharp, as in “not too” Adam, we should talk. You’re 22. You picked the worst possible URL, the worst possible political party and a ludicrous career category (Non-profit!) Ever heard of the “three strikes” rule?
http://www.liberaloasis.com/ The name says it all.
http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/ You call this patriotism? Patriotboy? Loserboy. http://www.crooksandliars.com/ I looked forward to some fellowship, idea exchanges with peers. Totally misleading name. These guys are anti-crooks & liars!!!
http://thinkprogress.org/ Think liberal losers.
http://www.fark.com/ Farking Losers. Fark you, you farking farks.
http://www.tuaw.com/ Unofficial Apple Site. There’s something to be proud of! Look: There was a war. Apple lost and lost bad. Dudes: It’s over. Bury the rancid core and move on.
http://www.wonkette.com/ try wankette. This chick knows how to drive traffic and she’s making a bundle. It’s her poor deluded timewasting visitors who’ll be SOL on judgement day when the Lord asks us each how much we’ve earned.
Jesus’ General aka Patriotboy. This loser rejects emails sent to him from Yahoo! accounts “due to Yahoo!’s complicity in the jailing of Chinese dissidents.” Christ, that’s why I use Yahoo! email. I’d rather be complicit with a ruling regime than downtrodden dissidents anyday. Go Yahoo!
Universist.Org pretentious self-important elitist liberal arts losers playing dress-up with pagan wiccan lesbo costumes found in the dumpster outside of real religions. Hey, let’s create a religion based on what we don’t believe! That way the boring pseudo-views we spew over Starbuck’s lattes can’t be challenged for the vapid drivel it is. Keep voting for candidates who will never win, losers!
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Here’s one of the greatest moneymaking business opportunity and franchise ideas from someone other than me that I’ve seen in a long times: Sundae Station. This can’t miss. I’ve seen a lot of vending scams, but this is the real deal. I was skeptical until I read the testimonial from Lynda & Fred, an attractive couple who walk on the beach: “We were drowning in debt and working 80 hours a week for two paychecks that barely covered the necessities. SUNDAE STATION changed our lives. Our first SUNDAE STATION paid for itself in just three weeks! In one year, we’ve gone from $10 in the bank to $100,000. Now every day is a walk on the beach. Thank you, SUNDAE STATION!” Lynda and Fred Sycamore, FL Quick tip: Keep a midget around in case there’s a mechanical failure and you need to go “manual.” See you on the veranda! Richard
Keywords: Franchise, franchise opportunity, business opportunity, get rich, get filthy rich, get disgustingly rich
While researching my upcoming books, “The Quick and the Dead: Richard Quick’s Guide to Kicking Riches,” and I ran across one of those businesses I wished I had thought of. (Since I didn’t, I’m starting AfterlifeEmails.Com. Or maybe WesternReunion.com Or PhonyExpress.com. Or DedEx.com) For a donation of $5.00 per word, AfterlifeTelegrams.com will deliver telegrams to people who have passed away. How? you ask. This is done with the help of terminally Ill volunteers who memorize the telegrams before passing away, and then deliver the telegrams after they have passed away. They’re not telegrams, they’re Afterlife Telegrams. Brilliant. Founder Paul Kinsella must surely have read my book “They Can’t Take it With’m: Richard Quick’s 7 Stages of Wealthbuilding” (featuring a guest disclaimer and court order by Kubler-Ross). (logo used by permission)
